postsecret
rahhhh
6:30 PM
Thursday, July 17, 2008
picnic my dear?
i think the boyfriend and i can only scream at each other thru sms-es and the phone.faced with him directly, i always feel tongue-tied.
o wells.
anyways, he sleeps in the most jaw-dropping(literally) way eva. woots.
so im craving for seafood now, after many many luncheon meat meals in hk.
i need some fish in my system.
yes von yip we will go for sashimi.
hur hur.
its all semi alright now i guess.
i kinda havta get my ass down n plan my timetable.
soooo. wish me lotsa luck.
this sems mods are horrible.
the mods i want are on mondays and fridays.
like hello, why do socio profs like lectures on fridays.
who in the world thinks friday is a great day to drag ur ass ta sch for 2 hours.
but, emotions n social life do sound appealing enough.
i guess im giving childhood a miss.
so it will be.....
emotions and social life(sc)
anthropology and the human condition(sc)
methods of social research(sc)
foreign diplomacy --> reuben wong = understandable (ps)
either one more ps mod, or world religions gek.
i think pol sci lecturers rock though, their lectures r neva on fridays.
the thing is, alot of them are westerners, meaning i might havta plough my way thru their accent and machine gun pace of speech to understand wads going on, WITHOUT FALLING ASLEEP.
SO TO REMIND MYSELF,
here are the goals this sem:
1) not fall asleep in lectures
2) read/ attempt to at least read my readings by the week (this is horriby doubtful)
3) open my eyes more
4) smile and be accepting
5) wake up for sch
6) get good scores for my essays (they r the only reason for my cap)
7) decide between pol sci and socio
8) try ta get the twins to get better grades
9) maintain/ up the cap
ON A SIDENOTE, THIS IS WAD I HAVTA DO
1) unpack luggage
2) pack the desk n room
3) get the boyfriend to bring me to the zoo, zoo, zoo, how bout u,u,u, you can come too,too,too, we're going to the zoo,zoo,zoo
4) o ya, dvelop my o-school film so tht i can see my photos. woots.
and all in all.
i havta go and eat lunch now.
rahhhh
12:07 PM
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
breathe
i feel dumb, waiting the whole day in my going out clothes cause i thought you wld drop by.i guess zouk is more attractive.
rahhhh
11:20 PM
never good enough. so sorry i cant be happy 24/7.
so, im back from the hk holiday.back to the semi hectic life,
the one where i havta try n fit in with everyone, despite my insecurities, inadequacies, sense of self.
how do u get comfortable in ur own skin, when, ure constantly reminded tht ure just nt good enough.
the boyfriend is back,
and i guess its reassuring to know hes physically around.
we both have grown,
but its sad,
sad tht we arent around, wasnt around, cant be around to witness and share that stage of growth.
for now im just glad that hes back,
cause theres always tht sense of small inner happiness seeing him fall asleep.
sumtimes i get sick of the hard times,
sumtimes its dandy, and i think its ok,
but small moments bring an instantaneous, tinge of heartwrench tht disappears in my memories when the days drone on.
how do we know what we really want,
when u never really experienced what u think u want.
i dont think i can eva accept myself for who i am totally, cause
its never seems good enough
for anyone.
wldnt it be nice if u cld do sth really well, and tht consumes ur personality and then it gets settled, so u can hold onto tht sth to know who u are.
so who are those u cant live without.
and who are those u really need.
and why m i drifting apart.
hell yea i know im not the person with the best communicating skills, or socialising skills eva, so where do i stand.
how can i find a standing ground.
and when will i find wad i m looking for.
or for heavens sake, at least let me find peace with myself.
